Mail Call! Pati responds to your questions:
Hey folks – questions and comments are always welcome. Simply drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Today’s mail bag:
- Q: How do I get my husband to respond to my request for help around the house?
- A: If your goals are not his goals, there’s a good chance he will not respond to your request. Prepare for your conversation by identifying what you want the desired outcome to be. Create your request for his involvement by including things that are important to him.
Example: The current reality is you work full time, you do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and run the kids to all their functions. You don’t feel appreciated, and certainly need time for you to just be you. WHAT do you really need? Is it time, is it appreciation, or is it a balance of responsibility? Let’s say it’s all of the above. What’s in it for him? Maybe you might be less grouchy, you might be more loving, or even if you had more time or were happier, you might support him in some of the things he wants to do.
Use these power words: If you knew, and now.
The Conversation: Honey, if you knew you could go on the boys weekend fishing trip with my total support and no complaining, would you be willing to (fill in the blank with want him to do) for me now? Sweetness, when you (fill in the blank) it brightens my day and makes me feel appreciated. Would you (fill in the blank) now? Baby, if you knew that a chore board provided a sense of balance for the whole family and would give the kids a sense of contributing, would you be willing to help me put one together now? When is now time for us to put that board together? (yes, the use of now seems out of place in the last sentence, but the use of now this way will achieve results).
This takes a little practice, so write it out, say it out loud, then have the discussion with confidence. Hold the emotion in check. Know what you want and list the benefits for him.
Q: My boss sends emails late into the evening and on weekends. He never gives it a rest. What is appropriate time for business related email?
A: When your boss sends the emails, does he expect you to respond or take action right away (specifically, does it say respond by X-time)?
Many do not realize that when they are in a leadership position and work 24×7, the rest of the organization wonders if that is the expectation of them as well. Managers – If this is you, there is an option in Outlook to delay email delivery.
Do you have 1:1’s with you manager? Put work/life balance on the agenda and ask for their input: Mr./Ms. Manager, an area for development for me is work/life balance. Would you mind brain storming with me ways I can develop in that area? THEN ask them to help hold you accountable for it.
OH, and to answer your question, I have not seen appropriate times listed in any email etiquette books, but believe that might be a good topic to add!
Q: Do you help with weight loss?
A: We receive this question from women sizes 4 to beautify voluptuous. I do not provide nutritional assistance. However, I will review your goals with you, and help you determine if the real goal is weight loss or loving yourself just as you are.
When working with body image, we look on the inside as well as the out. You may be surprised that body image affects men just as it does women.
Media contributes to our perception of what is “normal”. In many cases, we pick up from a parent that we were chubby or too fat. I weighed 135 (at 5’5”) and heard both of my parents tell me I was overweight and an “arm-full”.
A coach does not fix you (because you’re not broken). We will help you identify goals, create a plan to achieve them, hold you accountable and tackle any obstacles that might get in the way of you achieving your success.
We encourage you to request a complimentary session to determine if working with a coach is right for you. Personalities between the client and the coach must fit, or frankly, it just won’t work.